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Ray Lewis would rather be coached by Rex Ryan than Bill Belichick

The Context

Ray Lewis prefers a coach who will let him get away with murder...

The Troll Comment

Leafs ship Phil Kessel off to the Penguins

The Context

Noooooooooo, I just bought a hot dog cart and got a license to operate behind Phil's condo.

The Troll Comment

Bears offensive lineman J'Marcus Webb not charged in marijuana possession

The Context

It appears that J'Marcus was holding. I wonder how easily he gave up the sack.

The Troll Comment

Johnny Football fails hard in debut against Bengals

The Context

Johnny Clipboard > Johnny Football

The Troll Comment

Manti Teo friend admits to Lennay Kekua hoax

The Context

Te'o lost his virginity to R2D2.

The Troll Comment

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Vikings release Blair Walsh

He will be “missed”

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Posted by Ron Mexico

NFL Vikings
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Cowboys DE Greg Hardy ‘spits the truth’ in new rap video

Greg should stick to what he does best...beat women

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P Diddy arrested for using kettlebell as a deadly weapon at son's school of UCLA

Is Shyne gonna take the rap???

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Tom Brady: What Patriots did early in my career was amazing

What he says is true, they put some amazing stuff on tape.

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Jameis Winston arrested for stealing crab legs

Jameis - upholding the standards of the Criminoles, one police blotter at a time.

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Werdum assaults fellow UFC fighter Colby Covington with boomerang, gets charged by Australian police

Victim is expected to bounce back

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Werdum assaults fellow UFC fighter Colby Covington with boomerang, gets charged by Australian police

What goes around comes around.

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Dolphins Oline coach filmed snorting cocaine

Wow, their offensive line coach has really made himself the center of attention. Not sure how the Dolphins are going to tackle this problem. Should have found a way to guard against this type of thing as an organization.

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Posted by Ron Mexico

Dolphins NFL
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Tiger Woods arrested for DUI, has mugshot taken

He looks like a drunk Furby

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Floyd Mayweather: I've 'lost a step'; Conor McGregor has edge on paper

If it was on paper, Mayweather wouldn't be able to read it.

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Lance Armstrong admits to doping

He's been a drug pedaler all along.

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:13am on December 05, 2014

Cycling Lance Armstrong PEDs
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Johnny Football fails hard in debut against Bengals

Media: "You took some shots out there."

Johnny Manziel: "Yeah, I had some Jack on the sideline."

Reporter: "I meant hits."

Manziel: "Oh."

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Posted by omurphy at 11:54pm on December 14, 2014

Brown Johnny Football NFL
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Arod sends ball to women during playoff game, asks for their number

Hey I just got benched

I'm pretty lazy

I hit .130

Call me maybe

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Posted by YOLO at 12:26am on December 07, 2014

Arod MLB
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Cris Carter and Warren Sapp advise NFL rookies to have a ‘fall guy’ for when they break the law

Aaron Hernandez murdered his fall guy!

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Posted by Fay Turner at 9:19pm on August 24, 2015

Aaron Hernandez NFL
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Rob Parker suspended for calling RG3 a cornball brother

Peyton Manning is married to a white chick and is staunchly republican.

Peyton Manning: cornball brother?

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Posted by YOLO at 3:37am on December 28, 2014

NFL RG3
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Chris Bosh fined 5K for flopping in 2013 NBA Finals

Flopasaurus

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Posted by Fay Turner at 12:01am on December 08, 2014

Chris Bosh Heat NBA

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