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Lance Armstrong admits to doping

He's been a drug pedaler all along.

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:13am on December 05, 2014

Cycling Lance Armstrong PEDs
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Johnny Football fails hard in debut against Bengals

Media: "You took some shots out there."

Johnny Manziel: "Yeah, I had some Jack on the sideline."

Reporter: "I meant hits."

Manziel: "Oh."

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Posted by omurphy at 11:54pm on December 14, 2014

Brown Johnny Football NFL
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Arod sends ball to women during playoff game, asks for their number

Hey I just got benched

I'm pretty lazy

I hit .130

Call me maybe

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Posted by YOLO at 12:26am on December 07, 2014

Arod MLB
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Cris Carter and Warren Sapp advise NFL rookies to have a ‘fall guy’ for when they break the law

Aaron Hernandez murdered his fall guy!

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Posted by Fay Turner at 9:19pm on August 24, 2015

Aaron Hernandez NFL
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Rob Parker suspended for calling RG3 a cornball brother

Peyton Manning is married to a white chick and is staunchly republican.

Peyton Manning: cornball brother?

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Posted by YOLO at 3:37am on December 28, 2014

NFL RG3
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Chris Bosh fined 5K for flopping in 2013 NBA Finals

Flopasaurus

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Posted by Fay Turner at 12:01am on December 08, 2014

Chris Bosh Heat NBA
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Oscar De La Hoya gets arrested for DUI in California

At least it wasn’t for drag racing.

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Posted by Ron Mexico at 4:10pm on January 26, 2017

Boxing Oscar De La Hoya
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Falcons blow 25 point lead in epic Superbowl loss to Patriots

I haven't seen a lead blown this badly since Hillary's 2016 campaign.

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Posted by Ron Mexico at 8:56pm on February 05, 2017

Falcons NFL
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Lakers re-sign Metta World Peace for his locker room presence

I am glad to hear Metta WW III is taking time away to play ball and no longer building a small tactical nuclear warhead in his garage. Thank you Lakers for saving the world.

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Posted by Lennay at 10:17pm on September 29, 2015

Metta World Peace NBA
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Ray Lewis joins ESPN

"Plastic will now be used for all utensils in the cafeteria."

-ESPN Handbook

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:07am on December 05, 2014

NFL Quote Ray Lewis
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Mark Sanchez to have thumb surgery during offseason, will miss some OTAs

Is it his clipboard-holding thumb?

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Posted by Rays White Suit at 12:05am on May 17, 2016

Broncos Mark Sanchez NFL
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Carmelo Anthony defends WNBA players who protested police killings

Is this the first time Carmelo has defended anybody?

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Posted by buttfumble at 8:22am on July 22, 2016

Carmelo NBA
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Chiefs Dontari Poe, a 360-pound Defensive Tackle, becomes heaviest NFL player to ever throw a touchdown pass

Poe Montana

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Posted by Jack at 4:42pm on December 26, 2016

Chiefs NFL
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Out of work Rob Ryan gets hired by his twin brother Rex Ryan in Buffalo

My defense sucks, I can't get a job, so Mom said you had to hire me.

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Posted by Rays White Suit at 7:49pm on January 20, 2016

NFL Rob Ryan
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Lance Armstrong admits to doping

"Lennay talked me into it."

-Lance Armstrong

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:19am on December 05, 2014

Lance Armstrong Lennay Kekua PEDs Quote
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Manti Teo friend admits to girlfriend hoax

*imaginary comment*

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:45am on December 05, 2014

Lennay Kekua manti teo NCAAF