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Johnny Football fails hard in debut against Bengals

Media: "You took some shots out there."

Johnny Manziel: "Yeah, I had some Jack on the sideline."

Reporter: "I meant hits."

Manziel: "Oh."

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Posted by omurphy at 11:54pm on December 14, 2014

Brown Johnny Football NFL
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Cris Carter and Warren Sapp advise NFL rookies to have a ‘fall guy’ for when they break the law

Aaron Hernandez murdered his fall guy!

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Posted by Fay Turner at 9:19pm on August 24, 2015

Aaron Hernandez NFL
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Rob Parker suspended for calling RG3 a cornball brother

Peyton Manning is married to a white chick and is staunchly republican.

Peyton Manning: cornball brother?

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Posted by YOLO at 3:37am on December 28, 2014

NFL RG3
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Falcons blow 25 point lead in epic Superbowl loss to Patriots

I haven't seen a lead blown this badly since Hillary's 2016 campaign.

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Posted by Ron Mexico at 8:56pm on February 05, 2017

Falcons NFL
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Ray Lewis joins ESPN

"Plastic will now be used for all utensils in the cafeteria."

-ESPN Handbook

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:07am on December 05, 2014

NFL Quote Ray Lewis
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Mark Sanchez to have thumb surgery during offseason, will miss some OTAs

Is it his clipboard-holding thumb?

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Posted by Rays White Suit at 12:05am on May 17, 2016

Broncos Mark Sanchez NFL
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Chiefs Dontari Poe, a 360-pound Defensive Tackle, becomes heaviest NFL player to ever throw a touchdown pass

Poe Montana

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Posted by Jack at 4:42pm on December 26, 2016

Chiefs NFL
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Out of work Rob Ryan gets hired by his twin brother Rex Ryan in Buffalo

My defense sucks, I can't get a job, so Mom said you had to hire me.

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Posted by Rays White Suit at 7:49pm on January 20, 2016

NFL Rob Ryan
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Johnny Football fails hard in debut against Bengals

Johnny Clipboard > Johnny Football

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Posted by YOLO at 10:56pm on December 14, 2014

Browns Johnny Football NFL
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49ers GM says new Kaepernick contract fell through

Not a stand up kind of guy.

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Posted by buttfumble at 9:56am on March 18, 2017

49ers Kaepernick NFL
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Vladimir Putin steals Robert Kraft's Super Bowl Ring

Everyone here seems to be Russian to conclusions.

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Posted by buttfumble at 8:43am on December 05, 2014

NFL Patriots Putin
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Bears offensive lineman J'Marcus Webb not charged in marijuana possession

It appears that J'Marcus was holding. I wonder how easily he gave up the sack.

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Posted by Ron Mexico at 2:09am on December 21, 2014

Bears NFL
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Draft prospect Robert Nkemdiche says he "was drinking" when he fell out of a hotel window and got arrested for marijuana possession

Did he spill his drink?

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Posted by RG4 at 10:49pm on April 28, 2016

NFL Nkemdiche
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Manziel questions fairness of Browns looking elsewhere for a QB

Good thing he has the house that Johnny built to fall back on.

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Posted by YOLO at 12:08am on December 28, 2014

Browns Johnny Football NFL
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Rob Parker suspended for calling RG3 a cornball brother

Let's see....

  • Braids (check)
  • White Girl (uh oh)
  • Republican (uh oh)
  • Numbers in your last name??? (oh hell naw)

CORNBALL!

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Posted by YOLO at 3:35am on December 28, 2014

NFL RG3
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Scott Norwood's AFC Title Rings Are Up For Auction

So is someone going to take them to Mordor and melt them in Mt. Doom?

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Posted by buttfumble at 2:02am on February 10, 2015

Bills NFL