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Ray Lewis joins ESPN

"Plastic will now be used for all utensils in the cafeteria."

-ESPN Handbook

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:07am on December 05, 2014

NFL Quote Ray Lewis
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Lance Armstrong admits to doping

"Lennay talked me into it."

-Lance Armstrong

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:19am on December 05, 2014

Lance Armstrong Lennay Kekua PEDs Quote
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Manti Teo friend admits to Lennay Kekua Hoax

"If Lennay had a gun she would still be alive"

- National Rifle Assocation

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:42am on December 05, 2014

Lennay Kekua manti teo NCAAF Quote
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Putin steals Robert Kraft's Super Bowl ring

"I can see the ring from my house." 

- Sarah Palin

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Posted by buttfumble at 8:55am on December 05, 2014

Patriots Putin Quote Sarah Palin
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Rex Ryan goes skydiving at 9,000 ft with the Army parachute team

9000 feet? Sign me up!

- Rex Ryan

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Posted by YOLO at 6:10pm on July 17, 2015

NFL Quote Rex Ryan
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Colts fake punt fail against Patriots goes down as one of the worst plays ever

"We have to do something to make them forget about the butt fumble."

- Chuck Pagano.

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Posted by RG4 at 9:22pm on October 19, 2015

Colts Quote
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Arod sends women a baseball during playoff game, asks for their number

"Hey Arod... You're going about this all wrong."  

- Brett Favre

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Posted by YOLO at 12:09am on December 07, 2014

Arod Favre MLB Quote
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Cowboys DE Josh Brent fails drug test, sent back to Jail

"If I were Jerry Jones, I would cut this guy..... multiple times"

- Ray Lewis

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Posted by YOLO at 3:14am on December 18, 2014

Cowboys NFL Quote Ray Lewis
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Marquez knocks out Pacquiao

"The judge asked me why I still keep beating my wife. So I told him: It's because I have a longer reach, and better footwork."

-Floyd Mayweather.

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Posted by Fay Turner at 5:03am on December 28, 2014

Boxing Mayweather Pacquiao Quote
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Rex Ryan spotted with tattoo of wife in a Mark Sanchez jersey

I have a tattoo of me stomping on the other team's quarterback's face

- Ndamukong Suh

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Posted by Fay Turner at 7:18am on January 14, 2015

NFL Quote Rex Ryan Suh
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Tom Brady: I did not alter the ball in anyway

"I didn't do it, but I'll find out who really did do it"

-OJ Simpson

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Posted by YOLO at 4:20am on January 23, 2015

NFL Patriots Quote Tom Brady
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Aaron Hernandez judge removes juror

"If the ball is at the one, then you must call a run"

- Johnnie Cochran

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Posted by YOLO at 3:03am on February 04, 2015

Aaron Hernandez NFL Quote Seahawks
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Marshawn Lynch mulls retirement

"I wouldve called a run play."

- Brian Williams

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Posted by buttfumble at 7:29am on February 14, 2015

Brian Williams NFL Quote Seahawks
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E:60 Marvin Harrison

"Damnit, Peyton.  I was open on that slant."

- Marvin Harrison

"I'm going to f*ck you up, Marv.  You ain't no gangster." 

- Peyton Manning

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Posted by buttfumble at 10:02am on February 14, 2015

NFL Peyton Manning Quote
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Cut by Ravens after DUI, RB Bernard Pierce is picked up by Jaguars

"Can I just go to jail instead?"

~Bernard Pierce

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Posted by Fay Turner at 1:32am on March 20, 2015

Jaguars NFL Quote Ravens
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Desperate Timberwolves sign player because he was nearby

The Wolves offered me a contract but I turned down the offer

- Brian Williams

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Posted by Former Baller Here at 1:47am on March 20, 2015

Brian Williams NBA Quote Timberwolves